Letters To Tina


body:  I went to nursing school in Seattle with Gail Chopp.  As a former
Bellinghamster I had to ask her if she ws related to Tina Chopp.  She
says she used to be maried to Tina's Brother.  What sort of place is
there in heaven for the ex siser in law of a god?

To which we responded

we thought that gail chopp was frank chopp's wife...

due to some privileged communications with the bellingham police, we
happen to know that Tina does, in fact, have a brother... you don't happen
to know his name, do you? if you could confirm his name, it would
make your story a lot more convincing for us. we're sorry to be so
skeptical, but over the years, we've heard from many people who
claimed to have some kind of relationship with the person
named Tina Chopp, in some kind of weak attempt to curry our favour.

apart from that, we're really not sure what you're looking for. first of all,
The Church of Tina Chopp has never, and will never say anything
whatsoever about the subject of "heaven", not to mention the
fact that Tina is not "a god" - Tina Chopp _is_ God!

if you were _still_ her sister-in-law, or if you're really _not_ interested in
heaven, we might be able to help you. as it is, as far as we can tell, you're
destined for the frozen vegetable aisle of safeway, and there's nothing we
can do to change the situation.


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