Letters To Tina

email: amorphus frog of irrefutable inquiry III

subject: eligibility to view your site.

Hi! I am havine a greatly interest in partaking of your site but I'm unsure if it would be allowed! I am hoping with greatest excitation that I may be seemed to be elligible! Here is my current circum stances... I was born in the year 340 B.C. in Byzantion (now commonly know as Constanti nope uhhl. The city at the time was besieged by Philip of Macedon, (whom I was later to learn was sent home wumpering!). Anyway, to make a realy super dooper extra jumbo-economy size story a itty bitty bit smaller, it was during this particular standing off with the Philllip Mastadon that an gigantical spaced ship decended down from upon the heavenly skies and toaked me away to the secret hiding space on the Luna! It was an most unusedual timing for me! I did see meeny fanatastickal theengs whuch were beyond my most greatest imagings! I was treeted like one princesses! After one day, my rescuer had to go to a weeding for a friend (he was the bester man!) and he was not so wanting me ! to be a sad and loney one by myselfs, so he putted me into his special machining that would maken me sleeping sweetest sweet dreeming till he came back to Luna to me. Well, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming did I go for many many long dreams! When mine rescuer was returned he did tell me of the most sad thing, his stepped mohter had made up new rules, NO girls in house! Well, Rescuer has briiliant idea!!! He makes me man with his mashines! Little secret is he kepes little woman bit inside for me so when stepped mom goos away he love on my body still! Well that steppy mom sees hes sneeky self and makes her send me back home! So here is my problem, I am used of being woman, but got made into a men, but not quite men becuase I am still having the little womans part inside! I waas Muslim, but now I am a student of my rescuers understandings. I am singing the bigger picture of realigions now. Can I be reading your webbing sight!?!?!?! I am missing the Luna, I was so floating like a! mushymellow. O well, mine rescuer in not yet back on me yet. I give miney thanks of you Tina Chopp!

´┐Żorphass Frog of Irrefutable Inqueery III

To which we responded

nobody needs permission, or eligibility to view The Church's web site, even if what is there is illegal in your country... except if you have lame-ass parents who use their "parental controls" to block the site from view on a particular computer, in which case we encourage you to use a computer in some environs over which your parents have no control... and, judging by your message, that could be just about anywhere.

and don't forget to Sacrifice your Vegetables with enjoyment... i'm going to do that now, because i'm pretty sure that it'll get rid of the taste in my mouth that your message has left there.

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